"It's my pool, and it's my duck."

Memo of Rassilon

Sun, 06 Jan 2008 18:17:42 GMT

Al. Express hates me. Go here?

pay attention my love 'cuz it's over

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 23:39:08 GMT

So, I guess I'm backing this journal up this week.

I'm debating either retooling my DeadJournal or permanently moving to ciliandis over on LJ. I've still got msfeistus over there, too, though, so I might just use that instead. Backups come first, though. And whichever account I choose, I might just pay for. Because free was good while it lasted, but this is getting ridiculous.

I don't know what's more ridiculous anymore - the constant seesawing by the system moderators, or the fact that my friends page no longer looks like a friends page, but a gripe list.

So, there you have it. I really do like this journal, but maybe it's time to say goodbye. The RP here's turned to nothing but drama, anyway. And I'm sorry to have to let Distopia go, but ... let's face it, the posting was sporadic and slow, and I don't like modding anymore. It feels far too much like pulling teeth.

I'm just going to sit back and play in other people's games, now. Unless, of course, they're tabletop at EconoCon. ;D

Minor upppitydate thingummer.

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 04:29:36 GMT

Firefox users: How to safeguard your icons!

In case anyone hasn't seen this on the Issues community already, anyway.

if I stop now - call me a quitter

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 03:34:38 GMT

Okay, I'm back, before I post anything else?

The trailer for Season 4 of Who made me happier than ANYTHING in the episode proper.

Ushas, geek!glasses, nail polish, "spark of life", bonfire, ring, HALLO, I'm totally bovvered. XD

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 00:24:55 GMT

Ang: Have I mentioned I hate driving in snow?
Kathy: Hellos *HUG*
Kathy: It is for crap outside
Ang: I think the fastest I went all the way home was 30 .... And that was not of my own volition. That was down 25B in 2nd with the antilock brakes going, three cars behind me, and me going "OHHHH SHIT I don't want to die yet"
Ang: Annnnnnd I have New Year's Eve off.
Kathy: OH noes!! *more hugs*
Kathy: woot for New Years off!!!
Ang: Yes!
Ang: Not woot for having to speedclean tonight so I have a clean room before I leave for the airport tomorrow, but oh well
Kathy: he he... its for a good cause :D
Ang: It is. But, sigh.
Ang: At any rate, at least it'll be calming after the two-hour drive home.
Kathy: absolutely
Ang: *wince*
Kathy: *pat pat* tea time methinks
Ang: Ohhhhhhhh, most certainly. I had a tea nightmare at work today.
Ang: I got this tea that looked really good, vanilla spice... and it smelled good while it was brewing. Then I got it upstairs and put the milk in, and all of a sudden it smelled like cough syrup. ... Tasted like it, too.
Kathy: yuck... I am so sorry... nothing worse than bad tea
Kathy: except being a sea cucumber
Ang: I don't know, horrid tea + drive from hell = pretty close to sea cucumber.
Kathy: lolz

If you have to ask about the sea cucumber, you don't want to know. Trust me. It is scientific and icky.

Off to clean, now. And have a decent cup of tea. And be glad that this CRAPFORCRAP weather is happening tonight, not tomorrow.

EDIT

Al: I fixed the mp3 player.
Ang: WOOOOOOTS. Now you needs me to send you musics.
Al: Yes.
Ang: Okays. Lemme regenerate first. Dad sorta killed me with funny.
Al: What'd he say?
Ang: Dad got a new carbon monoxide/explosive gas meter. And he'd just set it.
Al: ::nods::
Ang: So he's explaining to us what to do if it goes, reading from the book.
Ang: "Hit the reset button and call emergency services. Go to the nearest open door or window. Do a head count to make sure you still have yours --- I mean, that everyone is there. Also check and make sure the gas is not coming from your head."
"... Or the other end."
"Beat me to it."
"Ha."
".... Then wait for emergency services to arrive. ... Huh. Okay."
Ang: And, Dad's timing being Dad's timing, he promptly farted, and proceeded to wave the meter around behind his arse. ..... The meter. Freakin'. Registered it, OK.
Al: ::SNERKS:: That ... just ... ::BURNS A REGENERATION HERSELF OK?::
Ang: Not only that, but ...
Ang: The light under carbon monoxide wasn't the one that lit up, ok. It was the one under dangerous gas.
Al: ::SNERKS::
Al: Run away! Run away!

So yes. We always knew that was dangerous stuff. Now we have proof.

wait for you on the other side

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 19:15:14 GMT

SOOPER SEKRIT WORK UPDATE SHH.

Hey you. You know who you are.

PACK UR S00TCAES OK

I has good news when I get home. ;D

next Christmas I'll see you, I'll be around

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 00:07:43 GMT

All in all, this Christmas was pretty decent, as Christmases have gone since I finished college. Not so much the exercise in boredom and endurance as usual. Mostly because Butch, Kelly, and their four hellions weren't in attendance this year. That left just Uncle Mark & Shawn, my grandparents, Uncle Don & Aunt Wendy, and their two kids, Sophie and Ben. No one asked to waste half my sketchbook and ruin the tips on my inking pens, I only got one bag full of hair products, and generally things were actually quiet. And I got to converse with my Uncle Mark, which was nice.

Unfortunately, Grammy's house is a haven of cat dander (though her cats are INVISIBLE when other people are in attendance) and woodstove and cigarette smoke. Guess what. I'm rabidly allergic to all three. So by the time I staggered into the bathroom for tissues, I looked like the walking dead. And I'd actually looked like a nice, dressed-up human being upon arrival (even if my hair and the hair dryer collaborated against me to make me look like Tom Baker without the curls. FWOOF).

Uncle Mark was telling me some of his "stupid people I've dealt with as a Chief of Police" stories, and remarked that he wished he wrote them all down so he could remember. I told him we should meet once a week or something for coffee and I'd write them all up for him. ... I don't think he realized I was serious, but I really liked hanging out with him like that. Maybe I shall write him a card.

Anywho!

Since Sara asked, here is my haul for the year:

The Good:
- Water chestnuts in bacon. Okay so everyone had them but STILL. *_*
- The Most Awesome And Snickety Dice Bag Ever OMG. (Everything DID fit, save for the giant bouncy D6.)
- Aforementioned tickets to the Meadowbrook Big 80s New Year's Eve Bash. WOOT.
- Pirateology board game (OMG THE D6s are THE COOLEST THINGS EVER, they're GOLD SKULLS WITH HATCHMARKS ON OK. AND THE 6 IS THE MOUTH ON THE FRONT. I shall have to crack open my dice bag to fish them out whenever anyone wants to play the game.)
- GIFT CARD TO STAPLES OMG YESSSSSS. Dad said he can't remember "exactly" how much it was for, but the ballpark figure he gave me made my eyes glaze over a little at the thought of the amount of shiny Snickety office things I shall obtain.
- Gas card to Irving from Uncle Mark & Shawn
- Turquoise and silver pendant from Sophia, Ben, Wendy & Don. It's GORGEOUS, but I might get a longer chain, since it's almost choker-length on me.
- Cold hard cash from two relatives. Woot. I am strategically using this for gas and scrounging on Saturday.
- Parmesan basil sauce mix for chicken, and a BLT dip mix
- A Dammit Doll. For those of you who have not seen them, a Dammit Doll is an amazing thing. It's sort of a staple of craft fairs around here, and has been since I was a kid. It's basically a very simple doll, with long legs and floppy arms, and a face painted on. Mine has a Santa hat too. And there is, always, a little note pinned to it which makes the whole thing: When you think you want to climb the walls / Or stand right up and shout / Here's a little "Dammit Doll" you cannot live without / Just grasp it firmly by the legs / And find a place to slam it / And as you whack its stuffing out, yell / "DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT". .... Obviously it is going to live next to my computer. :D

The Meh:
- Pop Rocks. I'm totally giving them to Bonnie.
- A giant spearmint candy cane. It's homemade from Kellerhaus, so I'm totally keeping it, but I'm not a huge spearmint fan.
- Lindt chocolate Santa & reindeer. HOLLOW. WTF, Lindt, you are the truffle people. Fill that shit up.
- A white fuzzy robe-thing. Only, it ZIPS, 3/4 down, and you have to step into it. Which sort of ruins the appeal of a robe, if you asketh me.

The WTF Were You Thinking:
- One of these. Dad says it's because Jupe needed company. Lo and behold, Jupe is PETRIFIED of it and hollered when I even brought it through the door. It is now residing next to my monitor, and I believe when I move out it shall be gifted to someone who can't have a REAL bird but would like one. Because don't get me wrong, it is very nifty. It is so nifty that it is actually very real-bird-like. To the point where I found myself saying "WHY am I sitting here messing with this when I have a REAL bird in my room down the hall?" I felt like a negligent parent or something. So, yes, it is very neat, but my parents spent far far far FAR too much money on something that's a facsimile of someone already rather near and dear to me. Way too much spent on a joke gift, Mom and Dad.
- A gold bracelet with tiny silver hearts on. The chains themselves are really neat - two helix chains side by side, and the hearts hold them together - but it's GOLD. Honestly, when have any of you I know IRL seen me wear gold? I wear silver, or white gold. Gold, to me, is very old-lady-jewelry, for some reason. It's just not ME. And the thing that KILLS me is that I'm sure, like the parrot, my parents spent FAR too much money on something I'm hardly ever going to use.
- Salon shampoo, conditioner, and hairspray. If someone I know IRL doesn't mind regifting, or simple "here, you would enjoy this more than I", I may just give it to her, because it's VERY nice shampoo, but it doesn't fit my hair type. Again, another case of "thanks for spending a ton of money on something that just makes it glaringly obvious that you don't know me".

It's that last handful of things that really make me loathe the gift-giving part of Christmas. Because you have to put on a smile, and KNOW that they meant well, but really. I doubt that that dice bag cost an eighth of the price of that silly parrot - and it's one of my favorite things I've gotten this year, because the friends who got it for me got it with my tastes and my needs in mind. It's not something flashy and useless that will just take up space until I either sell it, give it, or throw it away. It won't be buried in the bottom of a drawer. I'm going to use it - until the handle falls off and the clasp no longer fastens.

Also, the shampoo came from the same relatives that gave me a very substantial (by my standards) amount of money, which would have been MORE than enough for me. People take these things to excess, so often, and it makes me very frustrated. Something simple given with the recipient in mind will be cherished and remembered LONG after something expensive and thoughtless.

I'd rant more, but I have to go wish my Gram a Merry Christmas over the phone. Basically, it was a good day - and not having to deal with Kelly was a pleasant surprise.

However.

Friday will still be soooo much better. THAT'S my Christmas.

And Who Fans:
Unless Al finds it sooner online, I'm banking on waiting until she's here to watch Voyage of the Damned, so cut all spoilers, PLZ K THX ILU.

in keeping with the situation

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 02:20:04 GMT

Okay. I think I'd better leave for the holidays on a higher note than that, don't you?

So have some of the Really Good Stuff, the stuff I grew up with.

The sort of stuff Disney made in the last of its heydays, the stuff I really wish they still made.

Ladies and jellyspoons, I give you ...

Mickey's Christmas Carol.

Merry Christmas, happy belated Yule if I didn't say it already, and happy super-belated Hanukkah to Raq and anyone else I missed.

Also Kwanzaa, but not Festivus or Life Day, because c'mon, that's just silly. ;D

this party's drier than the dark side of the planet Aureli

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 02:02:50 GMT

So, did the annual Christmas Eve watch of Scrooge, with Alastair Sim ....... and, unexpectedly, as I'd completely forgotten, one Patrick McNee. I squeed on Kathy's behalf. :D

Then we got to the "one present on Christmas Eve" bit. Dad got Mom a really cute Mary Poppins doll, and Al and I got a pair of tickets to Meadowbrook's big 80s New Year's Eve party. Which, uh, I ALMOST bought for us on Saturday night. No, really, I was THIS CLOSE and decided not to in case I was pressed for time coming back from work that night. So it's sort of a good, funny thing that I didn't.

However. Uncle Richie got Dad a refurbished laptop.

My dad the computer challenged.

My dad who never goes near a laptop.

My dad with the brand new computer.

I'm going to breathe and refuse to be jealous and tetchy over this. After all, Mom just told me TODAY how much he sells that exact refurbished laptop for - it's not TOO much - and I could just nick off and buy my own. I really could. But ..... it's the principle of the situation.

Oh, well. I'm off to do something to push the tetchy vibes back before they make me thoroughly annoyed. I'll likely have MORE than enough of that tomorrow, dealing with the relatives. .... Though, you know. It could be worse. I could be smack-bang in the middle of that Dead Ringers skit. Or be a sea cucumber. Either way.

Off I go.

hold it high when you get down

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 22:35:13 GMT

Okay so why do roll-up Panama hats have to be so damn expensive?

Don't they know that I'm broke?

no place like Home for the holidays

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 17:13:41 GMT

Today's Crack Of The Day brought to you by CakeorDeath.com:

Mark and Crowley, WTF. When Aviario meta goes TOTALLY wonky, next time, on the WLAR News On The Tens.

There was also one of him with Matt's PB, but they were separated by like, three other guys, and Eddie didn't look quite Markish enough. Damnnnn. That would've been sort of awesome.

Anyway. Still have to decide what the Christmas picture's a-gonna be this year. Er. Did a big post of random things over at LJ, too, completely different random things. And I got Five a journal yesterday for that community, and wrote one of the drabbles up. You can find him at "cricketycricket" over there. Paul shall be joining up shortly. <3

Mom's got the radio on. Same seven carols over and over, Adam was right. :P Soooo here's a question for you all:

In your opinion, what is the WORST Christmas song ever, the one that makes your ears bleed no matter what version it is?

I think mine's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Barring that? Karen Carpenter's "Merry Christmas Darling" or whatever it's called. It makes me want to SHOOT things.

snowflakes in the air

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 18:45:59 GMT

OMG I want in. With Five. And Paul. Because I need to write more for Paul. .... Kay would be a lot of fun, too. So I guess there're my three.

In other news, Mom's new dresser is cleverly wrapped and disguised as a faux fireplace. Complete with bows and scarf garland. And my stocking hanging off it. Dad and I are EVIL.

hear you call my name and it feels like home

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 02:34:05 GMT

Wow.

I was inspired by a post a friend wrote over on LJ, to write about the muses, so I went looking for the ramble I did on Cap'nJackSparrow back in June to use as a starting point.

You don't know me, and I'm sorry for butting in, but I simply had to comment.

I used to have a friend, who thought excatly the same way you did, seeing muses as a crutch to lean on and who, though they're not here with us, are somehow supporting people who like them. She taught me that as well from when I was young and impressionable, and I think it's true as well. They're thoughts of other people, and who's to say whether that makes them real or not? I think it does, in a way.

I lost my friend due to an accident earlier this year, and reading your post just reminded me of all the fun we used to have, and how great she was, and I want to say thank you for reminding me to hug my muses and stop ignoring them, no matter how painful it may be to face them now that shes gone. I realise that last sentence probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but I hope it's not too messed up for you to understand.

Again, sorry for disrupting.

- Ramone

I wish her journal wasn't deleted, so I could get in touch with her, talk to her. Thank her for sharing. Because that .... I'm not sure if I can put words to how it makes me feel.

But I think I might need to write that post now, most definitely.

alternate, schmalternate, Jimmy, it says the same thing on the cue cards

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 04:09:34 GMT

Stolen from Jamie... If I say ____ you say ....

1. top
2. shatter
3. shoe
4. slide
5.car
6. lips
7. mail
8. brick
9. thrill
10. woof

1. ... of the world
2. ... petunias
3. ... ohmygawd. Jamie.
4. ... broken tooth
5. ... toon!
6. ... split (What. I'm RP logging. One of the muses got in a fight recently.)
7. That mail song from Blue's Clues
8. Ben Folds Five
9. ride
10. Lucy

does it make you feel mental?

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 23:54:36 GMT

You know that scene where the fire in the bar sets off the shells, and one ricochets into the zombie chick's head? I could use one of those right about now.

And it's not just the car. It's all kinds of things, all of which I'm a little too emotionally exhausted to even think about right now. I'd ask if it could be New Year's yet, but honestly, I don't think I can even handle thinking about that, at the moment. Once it gets here, I'll be fine for a bit, but really. I have to drive in the dark - possibly in the snow - to get there, I have to worry about what Al's going to do while I'm at work ... honestly, I'm exhausted.

I'm tired of feeling on edge from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed.

edit

You know those alleged holiday surprises that come out of nowhere, the nice ones?

What happened to those? I want one. Maybe if I stamp my foot like I used to, back when I was five. And it doesn't even have to be something spectacularly huge. Just .... nice, for once.

wish you would step back from that lens my friend

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 00:24:20 GMT

OH EM EFF GEE.

IS IT CAN BE MARCH NAO.

You wish you could sing Silver Bells like Christopher Walken.

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 00:18:26 GMT

I got some of my Christmas shopping done today since my first full paycheck came (HOLY DAMMIT CHRISTMAS). *_*

So far I've got:

- Mom
- Kathy
- Jamie
- Mel
- Part of Al's

And all I really have left are:
- Dad
- Cousin Laurie
- Bonnie

Al gets to pick the bulk of her present while she's here, because scrounging is good for you. I also need to get boxes and paper and cards and padded envelopes and crap... so that's on the list too, and I'll be doing that over tomorrow and Wednesday.

Today was a good work day, too - I had almost all the answers I needed for my phone calls, and most of the ones I didn't, I was able to ask Martha, not Jen, and I started keeping a log of my callers so I'd remember what to do for things. I'm also gonna be doing the same thing all week, and since I was steadily busy today and had a few things left over, I shouldn't be too bored this week. Hoooooo-ray.

Dammit, GJ, I wish I'd gotten to swap one of my icons out for my Walken In A Winter Wonderland icon before you went to ten. Oh well. I'll live.

it's alright - you can afford to lose a day or two

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 04:48:19 GMT

So, what did I do this weekend?

Yesterday, Al and I watched the first two Batman movies and discussed possibly reopening Gotham Lights, and had a really fun chat with Allison. I think I stayed up a little too late, though - I passed out and didn't get up until 2:30 this afternoon, oops.

I don't mind, though, because what with the storm and all, it wasn't as though there was anything big I could've done. Or that I wanted to do ... the only thing really on my agenda was to cook my lunches for the week, and since I couldn't decide what to do with the chicken, and I have soup that I can bring, I'll worry about that tomorrow night. Maybe I'll stop at Hatch Plaza and get some more sauce, and maybe a Christmas present or two at Marshall's. I get paid tomorrow, I can do that.

Today, I generally just lazed around with Al. She booked her plane ticket, and AFTERWARDS, Mom expressed her opinion that she wouldn't mind Al being around the house while I was at work. So basically, it's too late for Al to put in a change and stay a few more days to be here for New Year's Eve. Fish. I'm going to try not to get too upset about it, though. Since there's nothing that can really be done. Either way, I'm making dinner for the four of us while she's here, as an early birthday present for Mom/New Year's Eve party. Mom said she traditionally gets some kinda chick flick, which is fine by me, but afterwards Al and I will most likely retreat for our own movie marathon. Also, we watched Men in Black, hee. It's been a good weekend for watching movies with insanely awesome production quality, I think. I still have to watch the comedy that Martha let me borrow - I'll put it on tomorrow night, or something.

It was nice to have a weekend when I didn't have to worry about being anywhere, or getting anything done, or fulfilling any goals in particular. I think it helped me wind down from how crazy and emotional the last couple weeks have been .... which is good, considering that now I have to start worrying about Christmas. Paycheck means shopping, which means crowds. And then I have to gear up for the relatives. So having a break like this was a good thing.

Also, I did something I didn't think I'd ever have the mental and emotional fortitude to do - I archived my DeadJournal, all two-and-a-half years of it. Mind, I only saved entries that I still thought were significant, or amusing. And it was so surreal ... especially the stuff from sophomore year. I felt like I was spying on someone else's life. My mindframe, and the things I thought were important to me ... they were all so different. I came across as a sort of blog-chameleon - I only wrote about the things I thought that the people who read it would find amusing. Sure, I still rant about fannish things and all, but ... huh.

The other thing that seemed to make me stare at myself was that I tend to absorb the writing style of whoever I'm reading, when I blog. Sometimes I write like Damien or Jamie, for example, if I've been reading their stuff. Or, if I've been reading Snicket, it shows. Or Thomas Harris. Et cetera. .... My sophomore year, I read a lot of Jhonen Vasquez's stuff. So ... I used capslock a lot. And there was a lot of random. And where, at the time, it was really fun ... now I just kinda go "ummmmmmmm whut".

And then, most of it was DRAMA. Oh my god, the drama. Jen Drama, Sparky Drama, Angelique Drama, Lea Drama. It seemed like more of it was me either being angry at them, or being upset that they were angry at me. And ... and I thought that it was a decent support system, at the time. I thought they were the best friends I'd ever had, when all of that mess just eventually ate me up from the inside out. By the time I got to the end of college, I was a really angry, paranoid person. And part of it was the college system, like I thought it was ... but honestly, I can see now, looking back, that it was because of the people I surrounded myself with.

And I'm only still with two of them now. One of them's the most wonderful woman I'll ever know, and the other sent me an absolutely gorgeous Christmas card in the mail this week. (Thank you, Steph!)

As for the others, all those people who were the source of so much stress and grief in my life over those years? Honestly, I used to feel the urge to check up on them, to see what they were doing, to compare my life to theirs. Even Julie and Scott - because they were still around then, too. And while all those people influenced me in both good and bad ways, and for that, I'd never trade the time I spent with them .... I can honestly say that I'm done with them, now. That it's been put away. That era of my life has been closed away, quietly. I can look back and see how little I knew - and how far I've come. And that's all I needed from it.

I'm going to do the same thing with this journal, soon enough ... which should be interesting. And a lot happier, I hope. But still. I'm not as worked up as I thought I'd be. I'm not worked up at all. I'm just ... thoughtful. And grateful for who I am. Which, in itself, says a lot about how far I've come.

the gift that keeps on giving

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 23:47:54 GMT

QSDearheart wants to send file (Piece O Music).
WakeUp BreakOut received (Piece O Music).
QSDearheart: ... you has already?
WakeUp BreakOut: I guess so? O.o I've got everything you send on auto-accept, so. Don't think I've listened to it, though.
QSDearheart: Oh. *grins.* So I could send you, say ......... Socks. And you'd have no choice. You would end up with socks.
WakeUp BreakOut: NOOOOOOO!
WakeUp BreakOut: :O
WakeUp BreakOut: ... And now, I'm sitting here, waiting for you to be a smart ass and find a pic --
QSDearheart wants to send file C:\Documents and Settings\Angela D'Onofrio\Desktop\socks.jpg.
WakeUp BreakOut received C:\Documents and Settings\Angela D'Onofrio\Desktop\socks.jpg.
WakeUp BreakOut: I hate you.

no one saw the carny go... that's just the way things go

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 17:21:10 GMT

I approve of this teaser site. A LOT.

Shit, they're all waking up again. Make me stop smiling or GET ME SOME GOLDFISH CRACKERS.

... I just realized that that's the most obscure muse-related in-joke ever. Basically, sometimes you just gotta let the little orange fishies rain down - because crazy is good for you. ... Picking them up afterwards was a bitch though.

EDIT

OMG OMG OMG AL AL AL AL AL

WE CAN TRY REOPENING LIGHTS AGAIN

FLAIL

TOO EXCITED FOR PROPER PUNCTUATION OK

oh oh oh everything changes

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 17:07:14 GMT

I was going to be proactive.

I was going to clean my room and cook my food for this week and everything. Only now I want to play FF12 instead. But I need to finish Xenosaga first. So I think I might do that.

And now, I'm going to break things down. Read whatever bits you feel interest you. *shrug*

I had a dream last night where they offered to take me back at Innisfree, and I went.... and it was a good dream while I was having it, but then I woke up and realized that if that happened in real life, I'd turn them down. Because even if Cheryl and Bruce have so many little rules and idiosyncracies and contradicting rules that it makes my head spin on the busy days ... it's the sort of job I need to accomplish what I want for my life.

And I sort of realized that, yesterday. I used to think of a job like this as "settling" or "selling out", but really? It's not. Not if it means that someday I get to come home to friends and a fiancee and just crash on the couch with them and do whatever we want, even if that whatever happens to be fuck-all. Or walking around WalMart for the billionth time because we've got nothing else we can think of to do. Or going to the same place for dinner.

I don't mind that at all. I don't mind if I don't make some grandiose, majestic thing out of my life, right away. I look at things like Chan over at LJ getting her comic published, and only being a year older than me, and sure, it still makes me a lot of jealous and a little angry at myself. But I also know that as good as the book is, I personally am nowhere near savvy enough to start thinking about real publishing right now. I have to do what I can within my means and edge forward.

Because otherwise I just run around being stressed and angry and coming across as bitchy and selfish, and I don't want that. Seriously, what's the point in stressing out? It could be a lot worse. (Yes, Kathy, I could be a sea cucumber.) There are so many other things that could be going wrong right now, even if life's not perfect. I've got the things I need to hold out until I get where I want to be. I have good friends, even if things aren't the same as they were. I still have very, very good friends. I've got my family, some of whom I really would like to kill sometimes, but still. They have moments, and that's enough to make me glad I have them.

And I have a job that's earning me decent money, even if it's a little rocky waiting to get into the routine of being paid twice a month. I have to clean up the office at the end of the day, but everyone pitches in, and they work the time INTO the workday, so we leave at five. As opposed to one or two people doing all the work after closing, and having to pay out OTHER people besides. As long as I keep the major idiosyncracies in mind, I've found that I can pretty much work at my own pace and do my own thing. The phones, which I've started on, are a paaaaaain because Jen can't train me on that for beans, but ... it'll come to me in time.

I've just got to take what I can when it comes, and use it to deal with the rest.

I'm going to put a post up in DisOOC this weekend, I think. It's been going at snail's pace for a while, and yes, I realize part of that is my fault, but honestly? My enthusiasm for journal gaming has just gone down the shitter, with all the OMGDRAMA that's been going around here at GJ. And it was going around even BEFORE the icon failures and the notification problems, thanks. People get so petty over their games, here, and they do at LJ too, it's just that the community's so much BIGGER over there, and you don't hear about it as much. I guess. I don't know. It's just starting to feel like when I was in TM all over again, and I don't like that. I like my games to be fun.

To that effect? I still want to do SOMETHING, but I don't know what form it's gonna take. For anyone who's sorely gonna miss the game, or anyone who feels the same way I do - tag me, seriously, and we'll think of something. A chat room or a forum or something. Someplace where we don't have to bother with all this 733t-ness and drama. Where we can just freakin' GAME.

Seriously, what I'm thinking? An online version of Gaming Club, somehow. Where we all just sort of go "okay, what do we feel like this week" or whatever. No character limits, or anything like that. Just fun and writing and CRACK. No activity checks. Et cetera.

... Palace was kind of like that, way back in college. I wonder if I could set up something like that. Hmmmm.

Also, there's one game I'm still totally holding out hope for reopening, possibly this summer. Because it was just that good, and I miss it, but it's not my decision to make.

At any rate. ABOUT GREATESTJOURNAL.

Wah, icons, notifs, journal creation. As I said, I'm still staying here, as long as I can. It lets me ramble, and honestly? What it boils down to is that I'm a creature of habit, and I've had this journal for going on four years now, in May. Four, ok. That's the longest time I think I've stuck with something that didn't involve school or Al or Aviario. *snickers* Which makes it sort of monumental. Doesn't mean I'm not gonna start archiving, though. Hee.

... Maybe I'll archive instead of playing Xenosaga. I feel grounded enough today to be able to tackle that. DeadJournal, ho!

power of imagination goes right to my head

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:37:41 GMT

My horoscope was waiting for me when I got home:

On the one hand, your daily routine makes it easier to coast through the day on autopilot, but on the other it's also turned you into a kind of robot. Take a detour on your way to work -- it will spruce up your day.

Between that, the drunk girl in the lower parking lot off High Street last night, and the guy in the car behind me on my way home who looked like Dylan Moran ...

Yeah, it's been that sort of day, it really has. :P Not as hectic as yesterday was, work-wise ... yesterday was Customer Service Hell, with an added bonus of Shitty Trainer. The last meeting of Club for the year was fantastic, though - the swap was much, much better than last year. I think Roxxy's rule of "No more magazines and toilet paper" should remain in effect in the future, things were a lot more creative, silly, and fun (I got Mike's gift - a bottle of sparkling white grape juice cleverly wrapped to look like a footlong from Subway). Also got to run Aviario again, though I have to say, I was not in the mood to have to coach/deal with newbs who are unfamiliar with the concept of acting out their character and being creative. e_e

I was going to put a lot more neat stuff, but really, my mind just ran out of steam. Between the barometric pressure messing with my sinuses over the last couple days, and stress, and not-much-sleep, though, I may just be entitled.

now it's time to set things right - you and I must fight to survive

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 23:45:55 GMT

To Do Tonight:

- ~~Cards~~
- ~~Swap Gift~~
- ~~Put cookies in box~~
- ~~Wrap/bag extra cookies~~
- ~~The damn GM forms~~
- ~~Fix dice can~~
- Fix MP3 Player (seriously, Sansa, WTF)
- ~~Figure out what to do for dinner~~ (Leftover pizza. Score.)
- Checkbook
- Bag bag bag (box box box. SARDINES SARDINES)

Obviously a bit too busy for more of an update than that. ;) Though I wish I had an icon for the new muse.

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 03:08:52 GMT

OMG I NEED TO READ DAMIEN'S JOURNAL MORE OFTEN.

Or I would not have missed THIS on Saturday.

*sniffles*

.... not that, you know. I need an excuse, or anything.

something in motion greater than you've ever known

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 00:17:12 GMT

Here's what I have to say about the ~system journal news thing, ta-dah. I'm still not moving, and honestly, if worse comes to that bad, I'll purge and reopen my DeadJournal. I've started regaining my love for that user/screenname lately. It's Not Just For Email Anymore, or whatever. Either way, I'm going to start backing up all my memory entries and such in a text file. Because seriously, I've been meaning to go through and do that for a WHILE now. For posterity or what have you. Writing notes, stuff about life, random amusing things... there are a lot of things I'd want to save. And it's not just for the sake of any journal sites going kerflooey. It's for the possible day where I don't have internet, or I start doing this sort of thing on paper, or whatever.

Other news, other news, let's see ...

Um, my albums of the moment are totally Bowie's Heathen and She Wants Revenge's second album, This Is Forever. Music is good for you.

- Holiday cards
- Make up gift list
- Burn CDs
- Finish laundry
- Fix dice can (SNIFFLE.)
- Yankee swap gift
- Art, art, art.

Also, there's a new bit of art up on my DA.

012. Insanity by ~msfeistus on deviant ART