"It's my pool, and it's my duck."

All in all, this Christmas was pretty decent, as Christmases have gone since I finished college. Not so much the exercise in boredom and endurance as usual. Mostly because Butch, Kelly, and their four hellions weren't in attendance this year. That left just Uncle Mark & Shawn, my grandparents, Uncle Don & Aunt Wendy, and their two kids, Sophie and Ben. No one asked to waste half my sketchbook and ruin the tips on my inking pens, I only got one bag full of hair products, and generally things were actually quiet. And I got to converse with my Uncle Mark, which was nice.

Unfortunately, Grammy's house is a haven of cat dander (though her cats are INVISIBLE when other people are in attendance) and woodstove and cigarette smoke. Guess what. I'm rabidly allergic to all three. So by the time I staggered into the bathroom for tissues, I looked like the walking dead. And I'd actually looked like a nice, dressed-up human being upon arrival (even if my hair and the hair dryer collaborated against me to make me look like Tom Baker without the curls. FWOOF).

Uncle Mark was telling me some of his "stupid people I've dealt with as a Chief of Police" stories, and remarked that he wished he wrote them all down so he could remember. I told him we should meet once a week or something for coffee and I'd write them all up for him. ... I don't think he realized I was serious, but I really liked hanging out with him like that. Maybe I shall write him a card.

Anywho!

Since Sara asked, here is my haul for the year:

The Good:
- Water chestnuts in bacon. Okay so everyone had them but STILL. *_*
- The Most Awesome And Snickety Dice Bag Ever OMG. (Everything DID fit, save for the giant bouncy D6.)
- Aforementioned tickets to the Meadowbrook Big 80s New Year's Eve Bash. WOOT.
- Pirateology board game (OMG THE D6s are THE COOLEST THINGS EVER, they're GOLD SKULLS WITH HATCHMARKS ON OK. AND THE 6 IS THE MOUTH ON THE FRONT. I shall have to crack open my dice bag to fish them out whenever anyone wants to play the game.)
- GIFT CARD TO STAPLES OMG YESSSSSS. Dad said he can't remember "exactly" how much it was for, but the ballpark figure he gave me made my eyes glaze over a little at the thought of the amount of shiny Snickety office things I shall obtain.
- Gas card to Irving from Uncle Mark & Shawn
- Turquoise and silver pendant from Sophia, Ben, Wendy & Don. It's GORGEOUS, but I might get a longer chain, since it's almost choker-length on me.
- Cold hard cash from two relatives. Woot. I am strategically using this for gas and scrounging on Saturday.
- Parmesan basil sauce mix for chicken, and a BLT dip mix
- A Dammit Doll. For those of you who have not seen them, a Dammit Doll is an amazing thing. It's sort of a staple of craft fairs around here, and has been since I was a kid. It's basically a very simple doll, with long legs and floppy arms, and a face painted on. Mine has a Santa hat too. And there is, always, a little note pinned to it which makes the whole thing: When you think you want to climb the walls / Or stand right up and shout / Here's a little "Dammit Doll" you cannot live without / Just grasp it firmly by the legs / And find a place to slam it / And as you whack its stuffing out, yell / "DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT". .... Obviously it is going to live next to my computer. :D


The Meh:
- Pop Rocks. I'm totally giving them to Bonnie.
- A giant spearmint candy cane. It's homemade from Kellerhaus, so I'm totally keeping it, but I'm not a huge spearmint fan.
- Lindt chocolate Santa & reindeer. HOLLOW. WTF, Lindt, you are the truffle people. Fill that shit up.
- A white fuzzy robe-thing. Only, it ZIPS, 3/4 down, and you have to step into it. Which sort of ruins the appeal of a robe, if you asketh me.

The WTF Were You Thinking:
- One of these. Dad says it's because Jupe needed company. Lo and behold, Jupe is PETRIFIED of it and hollered when I even brought it through the door. It is now residing next to my monitor, and I believe when I move out it shall be gifted to someone who can't have a REAL bird but would like one. Because don't get me wrong, it is very nifty. It is so nifty that it is actually very real-bird-like. To the point where I found myself saying "WHY am I sitting here messing with this when I have a REAL bird in my room down the hall?" I felt like a negligent parent or something. So, yes, it is very neat, but my parents spent far far far FAR too much money on something that's a facsimile of someone already rather near and dear to me. Way too much spent on a joke gift, Mom and Dad.
- A gold bracelet with tiny silver hearts on. The chains themselves are really neat - two helix chains side by side, and the hearts hold them together - but it's GOLD. Honestly, when have any of you I know IRL seen me wear gold? I wear silver, or white gold. Gold, to me, is very old-lady-jewelry, for some reason. It's just not ME. And the thing that KILLS me is that I'm sure, like the parrot, my parents spent FAR too much money on something I'm hardly ever going to use.
- Salon shampoo, conditioner, and hairspray. If someone I know IRL doesn't mind regifting, or simple "here, you would enjoy this more than I", I may just give it to her, because it's VERY nice shampoo, but it doesn't fit my hair type. Again, another case of "thanks for spending a ton of money on something that just makes it glaringly obvious that you don't know me".

It's that last handful of things that really make me loathe the gift-giving part of Christmas. Because you have to put on a smile, and KNOW that they meant well, but really. I doubt that that dice bag cost an eighth of the price of that silly parrot - and it's one of my favorite things I've gotten this year, because the friends who got it for me got it with my tastes and my needs in mind. It's not something flashy and useless that will just take up space until I either sell it, give it, or throw it away. It won't be buried in the bottom of a drawer. I'm going to use it - until the handle falls off and the clasp no longer fastens.

Also, the shampoo came from the same relatives that gave me a very substantial (by my standards) amount of money, which would have been MORE than enough for me. People take these things to excess, so often, and it makes me very frustrated. Something simple given with the recipient in mind will be cherished and remembered LONG after something expensive and thoughtless.

I'd rant more, but I have to go wish my Gram a Merry Christmas over the phone. Basically, it was a good day - and not having to deal with Kelly was a pleasant surprise.

However.

Friday will still be soooo much better. THAT'S my Christmas.

And Who Fans:
Unless Al finds it sooner online, I'm banking on waiting until she's here to watch Voyage of the Damned, so cut all spoilers, PLZ K THX ILU.