"It's my pool, and it's my duck."

Al. Express hates me. Go here?

So, I guess I'm backing this journal up this week.

I'm debating either retooling my DeadJournal or permanently moving to ciliandis over on LJ. I've still got msfeistus over there, too, though, so I might just use that instead. Backups come first, though. And whichever account I choose, I might just pay for. Because free was good while it lasted, but this is getting ridiculous.

I don't know what's more ridiculous anymore - the constant seesawing by the system moderators, or the fact that my friends page no longer looks like a friends page, but a gripe list.

So, there you have it. I really do like this journal, but maybe it's time to say goodbye. The RP here's turned to nothing but drama, anyway. And I'm sorry to have to let Distopia go, but ... let's face it, the posting was sporadic and slow, and I don't like modding anymore. It feels far too much like pulling teeth.

I'm just going to sit back and play in other people's games, now. Unless, of course, they're tabletop at EconoCon. ;D

Firefox users: How to safeguard your icons!

In case anyone hasn't seen this on the Issues community already, anyway.

Okay, I'm back, before I post anything else?

The trailer for Season 4 of Who made me happier than ANYTHING in the episode proper.

Ushas, geek!glasses, nail polish, "spark of life", bonfire, ring, HALLO, I'm totally bovvered. XD

( IM paste, for I am teh lazy. )

If you have to ask about the sea cucumber, you don't want to know. Trust me. It is scientific and icky.

Off to clean, now. And have a decent cup of tea. And be glad that this CRAPFORCRAP weather is happening tonight, not tomorrow.

EDIT

( And again, my dad brings about death by funny. )

So yes. We always knew that was dangerous stuff. Now we have proof.

SOOPER SEKRIT WORK UPDATE SHH.

Hey you. You know who you are.

PACK UR S00TCAES OK

I has good news when I get home. ;D

All in all, this Christmas was pretty decent, as Christmases have gone since I finished college. Not so much the exercise in boredom and endurance as usual. Mostly because Butch, Kelly, and their four hellions weren't in attendance this year. That left just Uncle Mark & Shawn, my grandparents, Uncle Don & Aunt Wendy, and their two kids, Sophie and Ben. No one asked to waste half my sketchbook and ruin the tips on my inking pens, I only got one bag full of hair products, and generally things were actually quiet. And I got to converse with my Uncle Mark, which was nice.

Unfortunately, Grammy's house is a haven of cat dander (though her cats are INVISIBLE when other people are in attendance) and woodstove and cigarette smoke. Guess what. I'm rabidly allergic to all three. So by the time I staggered into the bathroom for tissues, I looked like the walking dead. And I'd actually looked like a nice, dressed-up human being upon arrival (even if my hair and the hair dryer collaborated against me to make me look like Tom Baker without the curls. FWOOF).

Uncle Mark was telling me some of his "stupid people I've dealt with as a Chief of Police" stories, and remarked that he wished he wrote them all down so he could remember. I told him we should meet once a week or something for coffee and I'd write them all up for him. ... I don't think he realized I was serious, but I really liked hanging out with him like that. Maybe I shall write him a card.

Anywho!

Since Sara asked, here is my haul for the year:

( Two turtlenecks, and a beer ... i-in a tree. )

It's that last handful of things that really make me loathe the gift-giving part of Christmas. Because you have to put on a smile, and KNOW that they meant well, but really. I doubt that that dice bag cost an eighth of the price of that silly parrot - and it's one of my favorite things I've gotten this year, because the friends who got it for me got it with my tastes and my needs in mind. It's not something flashy and useless that will just take up space until I either sell it, give it, or throw it away. It won't be buried in the bottom of a drawer. I'm going to use it - until the handle falls off and the clasp no longer fastens.

Also, the shampoo came from the same relatives that gave me a very substantial (by my standards) amount of money, which would have been MORE than enough for me. People take these things to excess, so often, and it makes me very frustrated. Something simple given with the recipient in mind will be cherished and remembered LONG after something expensive and thoughtless.

I'd rant more, but I have to go wish my Gram a Merry Christmas over the phone. Basically, it was a good day - and not having to deal with Kelly was a pleasant surprise.

However.

Friday will still be soooo much better. THAT'S my Christmas.

And Who Fans:
Unless Al finds it sooner online, I'm banking on waiting until she's here to watch Voyage of the Damned, so cut all spoilers, PLZ K THX ILU.

Okay. I think I'd better leave for the holidays on a higher note than that, don't you?

So have some of the Really Good Stuff, the stuff I grew up with.

The sort of stuff Disney made in the last of its heydays, the stuff I really wish they still made.

Ladies and jellyspoons, I give you ...

Mickey's Christmas Carol.

Merry Christmas, happy belated Yule if I didn't say it already, and happy super-belated Hanukkah to Raq and anyone else I missed.

Also Kwanzaa, but not Festivus or Life Day, because c'mon, that's just silly. ;D

So, did the annual Christmas Eve watch of Scrooge, with Alastair Sim ....... and, unexpectedly, as I'd completely forgotten, one Patrick McNee. I squeed on Kathy's behalf. :D

Then we got to the "one present on Christmas Eve" bit. Dad got Mom a really cute Mary Poppins doll, and Al and I got a pair of tickets to Meadowbrook's big 80s New Year's Eve party. Which, uh, I ALMOST bought for us on Saturday night. No, really, I was THIS CLOSE and decided not to in case I was pressed for time coming back from work that night. So it's sort of a good, funny thing that I didn't.

However. Uncle Richie got Dad a refurbished laptop.

My dad the computer challenged.

My dad who never goes near a laptop.

My dad with the brand new computer.

I'm going to breathe and refuse to be jealous and tetchy over this. After all, Mom just told me TODAY how much he sells that exact refurbished laptop for - it's not TOO much - and I could just nick off and buy my own. I really could. But ..... it's the principle of the situation.

Oh, well. I'm off to do something to push the tetchy vibes back before they make me thoroughly annoyed. I'll likely have MORE than enough of that tomorrow, dealing with the relatives. .... Though, you know. It could be worse. I could be smack-bang in the middle of that Dead Ringers skit. Or be a sea cucumber. Either way.

Off I go.

Okay so why do roll-up Panama hats have to be so damn expensive?

Don't they know that I'm broke?

Today's Crack Of The Day brought to you by CakeorDeath.com:

Mark and Crowley, WTF. When Aviario meta goes TOTALLY wonky, next time, on the WLAR News On The Tens.

There was also one of him with Matt's PB, but they were separated by like, three other guys, and Eddie didn't look quite Markish enough. Damnnnn. That would've been sort of awesome.

Anyway. Still have to decide what the Christmas picture's a-gonna be this year. Er. Did a big post of random things over at LJ, too, completely different random things. And I got Five a journal yesterday for that community, and wrote one of the drabbles up. You can find him at "cricketycricket" over there. Paul shall be joining up shortly. <3

Mom's got the radio on. Same seven carols over and over, Adam was right. :P Soooo here's a question for you all:

In your opinion, what is the WORST Christmas song ever, the one that makes your ears bleed no matter what version it is?

I think mine's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Barring that? Karen Carpenter's "Merry Christmas Darling" or whatever it's called. It makes me want to SHOOT things.

OMG I want in. With Five. And Paul. Because I need to write more for Paul. .... Kay would be a lot of fun, too. So I guess there're my three.

In other news, Mom's new dresser is cleverly wrapped and disguised as a faux fireplace. Complete with bows and scarf garland. And my stocking hanging off it. Dad and I are EVIL.

Wow.

I was inspired by a post a friend wrote over on LJ, to write about the muses, so I went looking for the ramble I did on Cap'nJackSparrow back in June to use as a starting point.

( I found this comment on it. )

I wish her journal wasn't deleted, so I could get in touch with her, talk to her. Thank her for sharing. Because that .... I'm not sure if I can put words to how it makes me feel.

But I think I might need to write that post now, most definitely.

Stolen from Jamie... If I say ____ you say ....

1. top
2. shatter
3. shoe
4. slide
5.car
6. lips
7. mail
8. brick
9. thrill
10. woof

( let's call the calling off off )

You know that scene where the fire in the bar sets off the shells, and one ricochets into the zombie chick's head? I could use one of those right about now.

And it's not just the car. It's all kinds of things, all of which I'm a little too emotionally exhausted to even think about right now. I'd ask if it could be New Year's yet, but honestly, I don't think I can even handle thinking about that, at the moment. Once it gets here, I'll be fine for a bit, but really. I have to drive in the dark - possibly in the snow - to get there, I have to worry about what Al's going to do while I'm at work ... honestly, I'm exhausted.

I'm tired of feeling on edge from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed.

edit

You know those alleged holiday surprises that come out of nowhere, the nice ones?

What happened to those? I want one. Maybe if I stamp my foot like I used to, back when I was five. And it doesn't even have to be something spectacularly huge. Just .... nice, for once.

OH EM EFF GEE.

IS IT CAN BE MARCH NAO.

I got some of my Christmas shopping done today since my first full paycheck came (HOLY DAMMIT CHRISTMAS). *_*

So far I've got:

- Mom
- Kathy
- Jamie
- Mel
- Part of Al's

And all I really have left are:
- Dad
- Cousin Laurie
- Bonnie

Al gets to pick the bulk of her present while she's here, because scrounging is good for you. I also need to get boxes and paper and cards and padded envelopes and crap... so that's on the list too, and I'll be doing that over tomorrow and Wednesday.

Today was a good work day, too - I had almost all the answers I needed for my phone calls, and most of the ones I didn't, I was able to ask Martha, not Jen, and I started keeping a log of my callers so I'd remember what to do for things. I'm also gonna be doing the same thing all week, and since I was steadily busy today and had a few things left over, I shouldn't be too bored this week. Hoooooo-ray.

Dammit, GJ, I wish I'd gotten to swap one of my icons out for my Walken In A Winter Wonderland icon before you went to ten. Oh well. I'll live.

So, what did I do this weekend?

Yesterday, Al and I watched the first two Batman movies and discussed possibly reopening Gotham Lights, and had a really fun chat with Allison. I think I stayed up a little too late, though - I passed out and didn't get up until 2:30 this afternoon, oops.

I don't mind, though, because what with the storm and all, it wasn't as though there was anything big I could've done. Or that I wanted to do ... the only thing really on my agenda was to cook my lunches for the week, and since I couldn't decide what to do with the chicken, and I have soup that I can bring, I'll worry about that tomorrow night. Maybe I'll stop at Hatch Plaza and get some more sauce, and maybe a Christmas present or two at Marshall's. I get paid tomorrow, I can do that.

Today, I generally just lazed around with Al. She booked her plane ticket, and AFTERWARDS, Mom expressed her opinion that she wouldn't mind Al being around the house while I was at work. So basically, it's too late for Al to put in a change and stay a few more days to be here for New Year's Eve. Fish. I'm going to try not to get too upset about it, though. Since there's nothing that can really be done. Either way, I'm making dinner for the four of us while she's here, as an early birthday present for Mom/New Year's Eve party. Mom said she traditionally gets some kinda chick flick, which is fine by me, but afterwards Al and I will most likely retreat for our own movie marathon. Also, we watched Men in Black, hee. It's been a good weekend for watching movies with insanely awesome production quality, I think. I still have to watch the comedy that Martha let me borrow - I'll put it on tomorrow night, or something.

It was nice to have a weekend when I didn't have to worry about being anywhere, or getting anything done, or fulfilling any goals in particular. I think it helped me wind down from how crazy and emotional the last couple weeks have been .... which is good, considering that now I have to start worrying about Christmas. Paycheck means shopping, which means crowds. And then I have to gear up for the relatives. So having a break like this was a good thing.

Also, I did something I didn't think I'd ever have the mental and emotional fortitude to do - I archived my DeadJournal, all two-and-a-half years of it. Mind, I only saved entries that I still thought were significant, or amusing. And it was so surreal ... especially the stuff from sophomore year. I felt like I was spying on someone else's life. My mindframe, and the things I thought were important to me ... they were all so different. I came across as a sort of blog-chameleon - I only wrote about the things I thought that the people who read it would find amusing. Sure, I still rant about fannish things and all, but ... huh.

The other thing that seemed to make me stare at myself was that I tend to absorb the writing style of whoever I'm reading, when I blog. Sometimes I write like Damien or Jamie, for example, if I've been reading their stuff. Or, if I've been reading Snicket, it shows. Or Thomas Harris. Et cetera. .... My sophomore year, I read a lot of Jhonen Vasquez's stuff. So ... I used capslock a lot. And there was a lot of random. And where, at the time, it was really fun ... now I just kinda go "ummmmmmmm whut".

And then, most of it was DRAMA. Oh my god, the drama. Jen Drama, Sparky Drama, Angelique Drama, Lea Drama. It seemed like more of it was me either being angry at them, or being upset that they were angry at me. And ... and I thought that it was a decent support system, at the time. I thought they were the best friends I'd ever had, when all of that mess just eventually ate me up from the inside out. By the time I got to the end of college, I was a really angry, paranoid person. And part of it was the college system, like I thought it was ... but honestly, I can see now, looking back, that it was because of the people I surrounded myself with.

And I'm only still with two of them now. One of them's the most wonderful woman I'll ever know, and the other sent me an absolutely gorgeous Christmas card in the mail this week. (Thank you, Steph!)

As for the others, all those people who were the source of so much stress and grief in my life over those years? Honestly, I used to feel the urge to check up on them, to see what they were doing, to compare my life to theirs. Even Julie and Scott - because they were still around then, too. And while all those people influenced me in both good and bad ways, and for that, I'd never trade the time I spent with them .... I can honestly say that I'm done with them, now. That it's been put away. That era of my life has been closed away, quietly. I can look back and see how little I knew - and how far I've come. And that's all I needed from it.

I'm going to do the same thing with this journal, soon enough ... which should be interesting. And a lot happier, I hope. But still. I'm not as worked up as I thought I'd be. I'm not worked up at all. I'm just ... thoughtful. And grateful for who I am. Which, in itself, says a lot about how far I've come.

QSDearheart wants to send file (Piece O Music).
WakeUp BreakOut received (Piece O Music).
QSDearheart: ... you has already?
WakeUp BreakOut: I guess so? O.o I've got everything you send on auto-accept, so. Don't think I've listened to it, though.
QSDearheart: Oh. *grins.* So I could send you, say ......... Socks. And you'd have no choice. You would end up with socks.
WakeUp BreakOut: NOOOOOOO!
WakeUp BreakOut: :O
WakeUp BreakOut: ... And now, I'm sitting here, waiting for you to be a smart ass and find a pic --
QSDearheart wants to send file C:\Documents and Settings\Angela D'Onofrio\Desktop\socks.jpg.
WakeUp BreakOut received C:\Documents and Settings\Angela D'Onofrio\Desktop\socks.jpg.
WakeUp BreakOut: I hate you.

I approve of this teaser site. A LOT.

Shit, they're all waking up again. Make me stop smiling or GET ME SOME GOLDFISH CRACKERS.

... I just realized that that's the most obscure muse-related in-joke ever. Basically, sometimes you just gotta let the little orange fishies rain down - because crazy is good for you. ... Picking them up afterwards was a bitch though.

EDIT

OMG OMG OMG AL AL AL AL AL

WE CAN TRY REOPENING LIGHTS AGAIN

FLAIL

TOO EXCITED FOR PROPER PUNCTUATION OK